Beyond Sobriety: How to Support Someone Who Feels Stuck in Their Recovery
In recovery, there’s an important difference between simply being sober and actively building a life in recovery. Sometimes, a person stops drinking or using but hasn’t yet addressed the emotional, mental, and behavioural patterns that fuelled their addiction.
This can lead to what’s sometimes referred to in recovery circles as a “dry drunk” — a term we do not use to label people, but rather to describe a very real stage that some individuals experience. It’s a plateau where the body is sober, but the mind and heart haven’t caught up.
At EPIC Recovery, we prefer to describe this as recovery stagnation or a recovery plateau — a period when progress feels stalled, relationships may feel strained, and the excitement of early sobriety has faded.
Understanding a Recovery Plateau
Reaching this stage doesn’t mean someone is failing in recovery — it means they may be ready for the next phase of growth. A plateau can be an invitation to dig deeper, reconnect with personal goals, and explore new ways of living with purpose.
Without fresh tools and strategies, it’s common to feel stuck, restless, or disconnected from the joy that once came with sobriety. Relationships can feel tense, motivation can waver, and old patterns of thinking may creep back in.
A recovery plateau can happen for many reasons. It might look like:
Irritability and mood swings – feeling short-tempered or frustrated more often.
Resentment – toward people, situations, or the recovery process itself.
Isolation – withdrawing from friends, family, or support groups.
Lack of motivation – not feeling inspired to pursue new goals.
Rigid thinking – resisting change or new perspectives.
Self-pity or blame – focusing on what’s unfair rather than what’s possible.
These patterns don’t mean a person is failing in recovery — they’re a signal that it’s time to grow in new ways.
Support Without Enabling
When someone you care about feels stuck, it’s natural to want to help. But it’s important to balance compassion with healthy boundaries.
Enabling means taking over responsibilities or shielding someone from the natural consequences of their actions. It might look like paying their bills, making excuses for poor behaviour, or avoiding hard conversations to “keep the peace.”
Support encourages growth and accountability. It might look like:
Offering encouragement while respecting their autonomy.
Helping them connect with professional resources or peer groups.
Attending family or friends’ recovery programs together.
Setting clear, healthy boundaries and sticking to them.
Communicating openly, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Steps You Can Take
Here are some actionable tips for supporting someone who may be exhibiting these types of behaviours, without enabling them:
Educate Yourself: Learn about the emotional side of recovery and the challenges of long-term sobriety.
Encourage Professional Help: Counselling, group therapy, or workshops can provide the breakthrough they need. An option is EPIC Recovery Support.
Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries: This is essential. Protect your own emotional wellbeing while supporting theirs.
Communicate Openly and Honestly: Create a safe space for them to share their feelings, fears, and challenges without judgment. Listen without offering unsolicited advice.
Let Them Face the Consequences: Growth often comes from discomfort and learning from mistakes.
Offer Encouragement and Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge their efforts and celebrate their milestones, no matter how small.
Model healthy behaviours: Show through your actions how self-care and resilience look.
Get Support for Yourself: Caring for someone in recovery can be emotionally draining. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Consider booking a free 20-minute consultation with an EPIC counsellor.
Explore Family Resources: You're not alone. EPIC Recovery offers a dedicated Friends & Family Program to provide support and guidance specifically for those walking alongside someone in recovery.
Be Patient: Recovery is a journey, not a destination. There will be setbacks and challenges. Patience and understanding are key.
When It’s Time for a Reboot
If you or someone you care about has hit this kind of plateau, the good news is that it’s a sign you’re ready for the next stage of recovery. This is where real transformation happens — not just living without substances, but living with purpose, connection, and joy.
That’s exactly why we created our upcoming Recovery Reboot Workshop in London, Ontario — two Saturdays dedicated to breaking free from stagnation and reigniting your recovery journey. You’ll explore what’s beneath the surface of sobriety, uncover patterns that hold you back, and leave with tools to create lasting change.
Recovery isn’t only about avoiding old habits — it’s about building a life you’re truly excited to live.
We're constantly working on new ways to support families in London, Ontario. There will be more offerings coming soon for family members and loved ones of those in recovery. Join our mailing list to be the first to know of our exciting new offerings!
Disclaimer
The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. If you are in crisis or need immediate assistance, please reach out to a professional or crisis service in your area or visit epicrecovery.ca/crisis.
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